The Guest List Won't Stop Growing

I'm getting married next year and somehow our guest list has become the biggest source of stress in our entire relationship.

When we got engaged, my fiancé and I agreed we wanted around 80 people. We were paying for the wedding ourselves and wanted something intimate.

Fast forward 6 months and we're sitting at 134 guests.

Every time we cut someone, a parent adds another person back in. My future mother-in-law keeps saying things like "you have to invite them, they invited us to their daughter's wedding ten years ago." My own parents have started sending me names by text as if they're entering a contest.

The worst part is that some of these people are complete strangers to me.

I feel guilty because everyone keeps saying weddings are about family, but I can't stop thinking about how much each extra guest costs and how little control I feel over a day that's supposed to belong to us.

I’m Second Guessing My Wedding Planner

I feel like I never should’ve got a wedding planner, I am already down thousands of dollars and to top it off lately she's been forgetting details we've already discussed.

She’s been asking questions I've answered before. Mixing up vendor names. Nothing major. Just enough little things that I'm starting to notice. The problem is we're 4 months away from the wedding and now I don't know whether I'm being overly anxious or whether I should be concerned.

My Coworker Thinks She's Invited to My Wedding

I work in retail and a couple of my colleagues were talking about my wedding planning at lunch, and then one of them suddenly says: "What’s the vibe for your wedding? I’ve been looking online at some dresses that I’ll be buying soon for your big day!" I laughed because I assumed she was joking. She wasn't. Now every few weeks she asks for updates as if she's already on the guest list. We've worked together for two years. We get along well.

But we're coworkers. Not close friends.

Wedding Planning Is Making Me Question a Friendship

One of my bridesmaids is also one of my closest friends, and I feel awful even writing this.

When I asked her to be in my wedding, I imagined we'd be planning together, sharing ideas, going dress shopping, and getting excited about everything. Not because I expected her to do work for me, but because that's how I always pictured this season of life.

Instead, she seems completely uninterested.

She took almost three weeks to respond about bridesmaid dresses. She rarely replies in the group chat. When she does, it's usually just a thumbs-up reaction. I've organized a few wedding-related get-togethers and she either couldn't make it or left early.

The thing is, she's not doing anything wrong.

She's still coming to the wedding. She agreed to be a bridesmaid. She's kind whenever we talk.

But I can't shake the feeling that I'm more invested in our friendship than she is.